Do You Struggle To Believe In Yourself?

Tell me, when was the last time you felt whole-heartedly happy, full of creative energy, super confident, in the flow, bursting with joy – ready to go out, grab the world and achieve your goal, no matter what?!

Early this morning? Yesterday, maybe? Last month sometime?

Or has it been so long, you can´t even remember feeling that way?

I´m here to tell you…

You´re Not Alone

Most definitely not.

The wonderful people who sign up for my free resources, all get asked:

What is it you´re struggling with most at the moment?

While not everyone hits the reply button, 90% of those who do (thank you for being brave and sharing your thoughts!) write just  a line or two – and, the rest go into great, passionate detail.

Still, whether short or long, I am always touched by the depth, the passion – even the humor – of the thoughts and feelings you share.

My aim is to help you start taking action and keep moving forward toward your most important goals…the goals that have the power to change your life in new and magical ways.

Does This Sound Familiar?

Here´s what´s interesting, though.

I keep reading similar replies, over and over again.

Whether  one liners or a page or two – it doesn´t matter.  The theme of many of those replies follow the same thread:

  • I´m stuck
  • I don´t know where to start
  • I feel overwhelmed and unmotivated
  • I´m worried about what others are going to think
  • I´m afraid I´ll never get there
  • I let my negative thinking get the better of me
  • I get distracted and procratinate
  • I don´t have time to focus on me and my dreams

Sometimes, people even take the time to share their dreams with me, the kind of life they really want to be living. They tell me aobut their family, their friends, their children and the community they live in. And they share the legacy they dream of leaving them.

Quite often, these same people write about their fear of failure; that they won´t be able to do what they´ve set out to do.

The thread of similarity I see running through most every reply, though, is a lack of confidence in who they are and what they are truly capable of.

Still, while they may not have the tools, the skills, the focus or the plan in place to get them where they want to go, in that moment when they are writing to me, they are remembering the powerful WHY that got them started dreaming in the first place.

Waiting For The Stars To Align

As I read what was written, I get this feeling that so many people keep waiting for the stars to line up and the time to be just right.

They´re waiting for someone to tell them it´s okay to take that first step. It´s okay to be a little selfish and focus on their dream. It´s okay to love themselves first, because doing that will give them more  energy and love to share with the world around them.

But they hold back, waiting for everything and everybody to fall into place; they wait until the perfect time has come.

Not because they don´t want to go after their dreams, but because they are afraid.

They hold back and wait, hoping someone will give them the “go ahead”. Waiting for someone to tell them it´s okay to believe in yourself. It´s okay to follow your dream. It´s okay to try, stumble and try again.

Can I Help You?

To be honest, those are exactly the things you should be saying to yourself. You don´t need permission from anyone else. You need to believe in yourself and your own ability to make your dream come true.

Believe in yourself

Of course, I wasn´t born yesterday and I know it´s oftentimes much more easily said than done.

After all, if you´ve lived at all and taken risks, chances are things haven´t always turned out the way you planned. It´s easy to become disillusioned and over cautious. It´s easy to start finding reasons why you shouldn´t be so quick to risk again.

Often those emails end with “How do I believe in myself and my dream, again, Jan Marie? Can you help?”

And my answer to those questions is yes…and no.

Yes, because I can certainly share my thoughts with you. No, because I can only share my thoughts with you.

You see, I´m cautious, too.

The Expert On YOUR Life

I don´t believe any one of us really proud of having low self-esteem, thinking negatively or fearing failure. And I don´t believe we should wait until you feel lost, helpless, uncertain or at a deadend before we seek greater self-awareness.

In my mind, being self-aware is a constant and conscious process that comes from continually asking ouselves questions.

That´s not saying I don´t realize how easy it is to get distracted and sucked back into the rut we´re trying to get out of.

I also realize I am not an expert on your life.

I might give you an answer you think is ridiculous, or you may feel like I´m stepping on your toes a bit. Or, I may say some things you feel fit right in with the way you see the world – and then you might make the mistake of believing that´s the truth (just because we agree!).

In a lot of ways, I believe we follow the ideas, opinions, thoughts and beliefs of others far too readily and that´s the biggest reason we have so much trouble believing in who we are, what we think and following the path we were put on this earth to follow.

Tell Me

If someone were to ask you, how can I believe in myself again, what would you say? I would love to hear your thoughts. And if you know of anyone who could benefit from reading this post, I hope you will share.

About the Author Jan Marie Mueller

Jan Marie Mueller is founder of the inspirational blog ThinkBrilliantly and The Brilliance Community, a free Facebook group dedicated to empowering women to let their inner brilliance shine! Her mission is to help women everywhere shift the way they think about themselves, their world and those around them so they have the confidence to do, be and have what they want most in life!

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Laura Wright says

Struggling with depression and self-worth. Please help! !

    Jan Marie says

    Laura, I can advise and support you but you will have to take the needed action to change the way you think and feel. You might want to consider joing our private Facebook group over at

    I´d love to support you there.
    Jan Marie 😉

Sandra Bell says

In response to someone asking “how can I believe in myself again”…I would say, take a look at where you’ve been and the things you’ve overcome, you didn’t even realise at the time how strong you were in doing what you did to overcome the problem…see you can get through things, you’ve already been doing it…think positive and move forward..we all start on the bottom step of a ladder and once we reach the top step, we’ve got to go to the bottom step and start the climb again…it’s all part of our life cycle

    Jan Marie says

    Well said, Sandra – thank you so much for sharing! 😉

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