How to Find the Road to Forgiving And Forgetting

How to Find the Road to Forgiving And Forgetting

Experts say the path to wellness begins with forgiving and forgetting. However, you may very well wonder, "How do you go about truly forgiving someone when they've seriously hurt you?"

If you're willing and able to work on your emotional focus and release any desire for revenge, you have an honest chance of attaining your objective. No doubt the memory of what was done will stay with you. Still, you can lay the way to "forgetting" by putting the past behind you and moving forward.

Follow these four vital steps to make you a master of forgiving and forgetting...

Step 1: Acceptance

The first step to forgiving and forgetting is accepting that someone has done you wrong. Find a way to accept what has happened and do your best to live with it. Acceptance is the starting point for moving your life forward in a positive direction.

Step 2: Allow Time For Healing

It's important to give yourself adequate time to heal. The amount of time you need to experience relief from your pain varies; each person heals differently.

  • If possible, you may want to try to limit your time with the person that hurt you while you reflect and heal.

Step 3: Revitalize Your Relationship

All relationships, whether romantic or completely platonic, need nurturing in order to thrive. If you ignore nurturing your relationship for too long because you're upset, chances are it will wither away.

  • Once you begin to heal, you will want to begin spending time together again. Go out for dinner, take a walk, relax at home or just spend the day together at the park. It doesn´t really matter where you are. It´s the togetherness that is essential if you wish to revitalize your relationship.

Step 4: Rebuild Trust

This is something you need to work on at the same time you are revitalizing your relationship. The one who hurt you should be working diligently on making you feel secure about trusting them again. Be open to their love, affection, and attempts to rectify their wrongs. Holding a grudge will only keep you stuck where you are in the moment. Focus on the possibilities rather than the disappointments.

  • It's also important for you to let them know it´s okay to trust you here. If the hurt they caused was extremely deep, they may be expecting you to reciprocate and try to get revenge. Make an honest effort to reassure them that you truly want a reconcilliation so you can start afresh.

People DO Change

Trust can be restored if both parties in the relationship are willing to work at it. While it will most certainly take time to heal, you can experience happiness again. Be sure that you both want a reconciliation. Focus on consistently helping to support each other´s happiness. And, with patience & commitment, you will be able to rebuild the foundation of a solid and intimate relationship that can withstand the test of time. 

To move forward, you must be willing to let go of everything you once thought was true and form a new reality together. This is the foundation for truly forgiving and forgetting.

About the Author Jan Marie Mueller

Jan Marie Mueller is founder of the inspirational blog ThinkBrilliantly and The Brilliance Community, a free Facebook group dedicated to empowering women to let their inner brilliance shine! Her mission is to help women everywhere shift the way they think about themselves, their world and those around them so they have the confidence to do, be and have what they want most in life!

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