How To Change What You Believe

Often we know we want to change, we just don´t know HOW to change.

Well, to start with, true transformation begins with changing beliefs that are not serving us well.

Our beliefs have a profound impact on our behavior. And those behaviors we display, over an extended period of time, determine the quality of our lives.

For example, if you believe that all you are good for is the job you´ve got – and nothing better - then, chances are good that you will not ever try to go after your dream career. If you don´t believe that you deserve love and joy, you will not be motivated to do the things needed to bring more of both into your life.

Truly changing your life starts with changing what it is you believe – about yourself, your world and what you deserve.

If you have limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of what you want most in life, this proven process can help you change them to beliefs that serve and empower you.

How To Change What You Believe

How To Change ANY Belief

Grab your journal and find a quiet place to sit, so that you can explore (and write out!) your answers to the following questions…

NOTE: Choose ONE belief to work with at a time - you can always come back and repeat the process with other negative beliefs you feel may be holding you back.

Which belief do I want to change?

You need to be able to see it to work with it effectively. So write it down. For example, one limiting belief you might have is: "I will never have a lot of money."

What has this belief cost me?

Make a list of all the ways this belief has negatively impacted your life. Really think about it, because it helps to have as much negative ammunition to get rid of that old belief as you can get. Spend some time; it might even take a couple of days to get a complete list.

What advantages has this belief provided me?

Maybe believing that you could never be wealthy has allowed you to avoid taking risks. Or perhaps it has allowed you to work at a profession that's easy for you. It might be hard to figure out what the advantages are, but they are there.

What new belief would I like to have as a replacement?

For example, for the belief listed above, a new replacement might be: "I can make any amount of money I set my mind to." Be thoughtful and develop a new belief that will serve you well in the future.

How is my new belief better than the old belief?

Come up with an emotionally charged list of ways in which the new belief will impact your life for the better. Consider how you would feel. What could you become? How would your lifestyle change? Would it help other people around you?

How can I start demonstrating the new belief today?

Following our wealth-theme, it might not be the right time to plan the interior of your private jet just yet. What could you do right now? Make a plan to make more money? Start looking for a better paying job? Look for ways to invest the money you already have? Even a small change can help the process.

Start Living Your New Belief

While answering these questions may seem challenging at first, really taking the time to think them through will make it easier as you confront one self-limiting belief after the next.  Unfortunately, negative beliefs rarely come alone…since many of them are rooted in our childhood, we quite often have a whole series of them that need to be faced, challenged and rewritten.

Once you´ve completed the process above, make a point of behaving in accordance with that new belief each and every day, moving forward.

  • Based on your new belief…
  • What will you wear?
  • How will you speak?
  • How will you view the world around you?
  • What frame of mind will you focus on?
  • How will you treat others?
  • How will you make decisions?
  • What will you do to move you closer to your dreams?
  • How will you react to good – or even, bad - news?

The Core To Everything

What you believe is really the core to everything you do and become. Remember: it´s your behaviors that determine the quality of your life and what you believe that determines how you behave.

I won´t lie to you…

Beliefs can be challenging to change. As I mentioned before, they are frequently developed at a very young age, which means you may have been living with your self-limiting beliefs for quite some time now.

That said, with persistence, practice and patience, you have it within your power to change your negative beliefs in ways that will empower and transform your life – I guarantee it!

BONUS: Pinpointing Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Not all self-limiting beliefs are easily recognizable – sometimes they lie just below our surface level of consciousness.

For example, I remember what a huge “a-ha” moment it was for me when I realized that I had been basing my happiness on external values; when I used to think that the right job, the right clothes, losing 10 lbs, the right circumstances, etc. would make me happy. I thought something outside of myself was THE key to my happiness and all I had to do was find it.

The problem was the happiness that came with each of those external things never stuck – something always seemed to be missing.

It was only through a focused journey inward and a deepening of my self-awareness that I realized THE key to happiness was ME. I learned that not only am I responsible for the changes I want to make in my life but that true happiness is something I have to cultivate within myself.

That´s when my new core belief became this:

Happiness is an inside job.

Continually searching for happiness is both an exhausting and a frustrating endeavor. Learning to let that go and turn my focus inward has been tremendously freeing and equally fulfilling.

We often internalize many of our beliefs as fact until the day we decide to take a good hard look at what we believe. Even then, some of our deepest-held beliefs can be hard to define.

For that reason, I thought I´d compile a list of some of the most common self-limiting beliefs I have come across working with my coaching clients. Take a moment to read through them below. You may just recognize yourself in some of them. And, should that be the case, you now know what you need to do to transform them…

  • I don´t know where to start.
  • I am just not ready.
  • It´s not my fault; others are holding me back.
  • I’m too old….young…fat…skinny…tall…short…______________ (you choose)
  • I’m not smart/popular/connected/ ________________ (you choose) enough.
  • I´ll never have enough money.
  • Money is the root of all evil.
  • Rich people have it so much easier.
  • My life is a mess; there´s nothing I can do.
  • It´s too late; there´s no point in trying to change.
  • It´s hopeless.
  • I don’t have enough time/ enough energy / enough money…
  • There’s an earnings ceiling that I’ll never go above.
  • Financial security is a pipe dream.
  • I don’t have enough experience.
  • I don’t deserve to be happy.
  • I don´t have the right kind of education.
  • I wasn’t born into the right kind of family.
  • I don´t have the right kind of looks.
  • One day I’ll change.
  • I´ll start tomorrow.
  • Getting my hopes up always leads to disappointment.
  • My health is holding me back.
  • I’ll never be happy.
  • I already have too much to do.
  • I can´t change; I am just the way I am.
  • People won’t like the real me.
  • Not trying is better than failing.
  • True love is a fairy tale.
  • I’ll never be successful.
  • Eating right/exercising/taking care of myself isn´t that important.
  • Letting others get close leads to pain.
  • Life is hard … that’s just the way it is.
  • I don’t deserve nice things.
  • There’s no point in dreaming big.
  • What others think of me is important.
  • If I get too happy or too successful, something bad will happen.
  • If (add person/place/thing) would just change, I´d be happy.
  • I don’t deserve to have more than I have already.
  • Honesty leads to pain/rejection.
  • If I don´t keep “doing”, everything in my life will fall apart.
  • I’m not important.
  • I’m not good with money.
  • I can’t trust myself.
  • People just don´t like me.
  • I don´t deserve love.
  • I’m don´t have enough discipline/willpower; I´m not strong enough.
  • There’s no point in asking for what I want.
  • There is no one to support or encourage me.
  • I’m powerless.
  • Being vulnerable is far too dangerous.
  • It won´t work out anyway, so why bother?

About the Author Jan Marie Mueller

Jan Marie Mueller is founder of the inspirational blog ThinkBrilliantly and The Brilliance Community, a free Facebook group dedicated to empowering women to let their inner brilliance shine! Her mission is to help women everywhere shift the way they think about themselves, their world and those around them so they have the confidence to do, be and have what they want most in life!

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