How To Stop Negative Self-talk

We’ve all heard it — that negative mental chatter that kicks in whenever you mess up. It´s great at telling you what you should have done but didn’t, and it´s never at a loss for words when it comes to pointing out all the ways you just don´t measure up.

Let´s face it, more than anything else, when things go wrong, it´s that running dialog inside your head that undermines your self-confidence and leaves you feeling degraded, unworthy and hopeless. 

So, how DO you silence the negative self-talk before it destroys your confidence and self-esteem? Here´s a 6-step process that´s worked for me. It´s simple. It´s effective…but it´s not always easy. Still, if you truly what to put a muzzle on the negative chatter that keeps getting in the way of your living the amazingly, positive life you deserve, this is a terrific place to start.

Give it a try and let me know how you get along. I know you can do it – I know you can!

Step 1: Analyze your negative self-talk

Point for point, what is that negative voice inside your head saying?

Jot it down so you can reflect on what you feel you’re doing wrong. One by one, go through the points and ask yourself:  Is this really valid? Is this REALLY true?

If so circle it. If not, cross it off your list.

Step 2: Figure out when the negative self-talk kicks in

For example, if you say to yourself: You´re never going to be successful at anything, take time to figure out why you feel that way. Look deep down inside. Really think about it…

  • Chances are you´ll remember a time in your life when an authority figure was overly critical of you. Unfortunately, far too many uninformed adults devastate the self-esteem of the children around them by directing negative, accusatory, or demeaning words at them.

Step 3: Let it go

Here´s where you need to make the decision to release any negative remarks or comments associated with those past experiences. Why? Because they simply hold no validity for you now.

  • Those feelings you´ve been holding on to stem from the mixed-up, unhappy, or otherwise unskilled adult who was unaware of the impact of their words. Don’t let your inner critic keep repeating and underlining those false beliefs! They’re untrue. Take an active stance to rid yourself of them.
  • Release yourself from the unhealthy mantras of your past. Give yourself permission to let go of any negative statement that prevents you from moving forward and being successful in your life. Empower yourself by consciously banning negativity from your life.

Step 4: Acknowledge just how damaging self-criticism can be

Allowing negative mental chatter to control your mind can be devastating. It doesn´t just make you feel miserable, it blocks your path on the journey to living the happy, fulfilling, abundant life you deserve.

  • Realize that no one can hope to be happy and successful when they´re constantly being told how terrible they are; how they´re not clever enough, pretty enough, loving enough or good enough to have what they want most in life.
  • Knocking yourself down emotionally is never the answer!

Step 5: Counterbalance negative self-talk with your supportive, caring self

Instead of thinking: I´d never be good at painting, think: This is a wonderful chance for me to work on learning something new. Then go at it with an open mind.

Step 6: Stay focused

Rather than allowing your negative mental chatter to get the best of you, continue with your plans full speed ahead. You can challenge the validity of your negative self-talk simply by pouring all your energy into accomplishing your heart´s desire.

Overriding your negative self-talk is one of the wisest things you’ll ever do. It won´t happen overnight but it CAN be done. As you follow the steps above, your moods will shift, your confidence will grow and you will feel more positive about what you can accomplish in your life.

Why let negativity get the better of you when you deserve so much MORE?

Get started today and begin leading the powerfully positive life you were meant to live. If anyone deserves it, YOU do!


About the Author Jan Marie Mueller

Jan Marie Mueller is founder of the inspirational blog ThinkBrilliantly and The Brilliance Community, a free Facebook group dedicated to empowering women to let their inner brilliance shine! Her mission is to help women everywhere shift the way they think about themselves, their world and those around them so they have the confidence to do, be and have what they want most in life!

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Elaine Midgley says

I’m proof it can be done …. There was nobody worse at kicking myself while I was down …. It does take time and lots of effort … But I’m so worth it …. Little by little after putting lots of positives into my days I feel totally different to this time last year …. I’m a working progress …. But I never allow the negative spiral … EVER. !!!! 💚💛💙

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