What To Do When Things Fall Apart

What to do when things fall apart...

There are many reasons why we struggle. And trying to find a solution can be both frustrating, frightening and time-consuming. When even your best efforts produce little more than lukewarm results and your happiness is on the line, you may be asking yourself what to do when things fall apart...or, at least, look like they are beginning to.

Here are just a few reasons so many people struggle:

  • We let too many problems fester at once
  • We don´t DO enough to catch ourselves before we fall
  • We stick our heads in the sand (instead of dealing with problems early one)
  • We choose (where consciously or unconsciously) to focus on the negative
  • A combination of all of the above

Think Outside The Box

Most people try to put a good face on things without really looking any deeper than the surface problem. In other words, they seek to treat the symptom rather than the factors that are triggering the problem itself.

Sometimes this can be a person, place or thing...OR it can be an underlying belief or triggered emotion that has you feeling like your life is on a downward spiral.

That´s when you need to think outside the box. You need to seek out innovative and efficient ways of doing, being and thinking.

In an effort to find a solution, many struggling people start trying one thing after the other, in the hopes something will work - never really investing enough time or effort in any one strategy to start seeing results. 

That´s not what I am suggesting you do.

Doing things this way will only lead to frustration – and, when things seem to be falling apart, you have enough of that already.

Instead, I want you to focus your time and energy on doing these  three things until you begin to see results - then, keep right on doing them!  

1) Relax

Don´t roll your eyes at me now! 

When things fall apart, the very first thing you should do is relax and understand that life is trying to tell you something here. Like maybe it´s time you stopped pushing yourself quite so hard...

This is life´s way of nudging you to stop and look inside; to re-evaluate where you are right now, where you are headed and where it is you really want to go. 

Just know that you don´t have to figure it all out right this minute. Even when your mind is in panic mode, you are not the panic. You are the observer of your experience.

You get to decide how you want to respond when things fall apart. 

Take a moment and focus on doing the best you can with what you have. And remember to take care of yourself. Eat right. Drink plenty and rest as needed. Oh, and do the things that you enjoy. 

This too shall pass...and when it does, you will have plenty of energy to forge onward to creating the life you truly want. 

2) Face Your Fears

What makes you feel desperately fearful is your mind labeling it as frightening...

But really, it is just a thought. A sensation inside your body. Nothing more. And it doesn´t mean anything until you decide what it means. 

When you catch your mind telling you things like:

  • There´s just no point
  • Life is hopeless
  • This will never get any better
  • You´re going to lose everything
  • You don´t deserve anything better

Realize that these are just stories. And stories are things that haven´t happened yet. 

This is when you need to step up and face your worst fear. Imagine the worst that could happen. Visualize it in every detail - feel it, hear it, touch it, taste it. Then...

Welcome it. Smile at it and acknowledge that fear is nothing more than a movie within your mind - and you have the remote control. You can slow it down, speed it up, rewind it or delete it. 

Refuse to let fear define you. Refuse to let it have the upper hand. And refuse to base your actions on it because acting out of fear only leads to more fear. 

When things fall apart, what´s really happening is that your mind is busily weaving a story around what it things is happening in your life. 

The truth is your mind cannot predict the future and we never know what´s coming. 

You are not your feelings and you are not your thoughts. When all your mind does is send you negative thoughts and emotions, step back for a moment and be mindful of what is going on. Then choose how you want to respond. 

3) Embrace Your Inner Brilliance

Even when things seem particularly dark (maybe especially then!), allow yourself to tap into the special brilliance you have inside. Notice that all that darkness flows through the negative mental chatter and you do not have to accept it.

Challenge your thoughts. Find a quite spot and open yourself to what is going on. Feel the emotions, feel them fully. Observe the stories you are telling yourself.

The more often you do this, the more you will begin to connect with your inner brilliance. 

You have all you need inside of you. Still, you need to be willing to see the negativity for what it is...and let it go.

There is a seed of the positive and the empowering in every negative thought, if you are willing to look for it, learn from it and allow it to grow.

When life is threatening to fall apart, I know it can seem like nothing will ever be right again. But it will.

Life is made up of transitions and this is just one of many.

The great thing is YOU get to decide how you want to relate to this change. You can label it as bad, and you’ll get to experience resistance and fear.

Or you can look deeper and see this as a chance to re-evaluate where it is you really want to go from here. 

If it feels like you’re dying, know that it´s your mind telling you this. What´s really dying is your "old" self because there is a new self waiting to unfold and emerge. 

You don’t have to always believe what your mind says to you.

Shift your focus to your inner brilliance and let it lead the way for a while. You´ll be just fine. 

About the Author Jan Marie Mueller

Jan Marie Mueller is founder of the inspirational blog ThinkBrilliantly and The Brilliance Community, a free Facebook group dedicated to empowering women to let their inner brilliance shine! Her mission is to help women everywhere shift the way they think about themselves, their world and those around them so they have the confidence to do, be and have what they want most in life!

follow me on: